New Traditions in Giving

When I first started knitting, I only did it for myself.  I've now decided that knitting Christmas gifts, Baby gifts, and Charity Knitting is quite satisfying as well.  I think this is a round-up of all of the knitted gifts for the year.  I'm modeling most of them and one with my husband. 

I do hope the recipients really like their gifts.  It's hard as there are so many specific washing instructions-cold water hand, warm water washer, dryer, no -dryer.  I've started telling people to just contact me when they need to wash something.  No worries on that as most accessories don't need washing but a few times a year. 
Sizing is always hard if the person isn't physically around.  And people aren't used to knowing their head measurement in cm. 
    I wanted to make some charity knitting for the St. Judes Childrens Cancer hospital, but those kids are so sick that items have to be sterile etc.  Super sad.  I'll still look into it though.  I have taken to knitting a few things for the local GA trauma bears.  We knit clothes for teddy bears and give the bear and outfit to children with abuse in the courts system.  I really do hope it gives those kids a little bit of joy.

    On a daily basis I am amazed at how blessed I am with all that I have.  Many factors have contributed to it, but there was a time in my early twenties, when I don't think I could have even conceived of being 40 years old.  What I realise now is; you start out with nothing, but along the way you keeping getting items, and as long as you keep them, eventually, you have what you need. 
     A this point now, I've got my parents, aunts, etc older people trying to give me their unneeded items as they start to downsize.  My parents, older people had some type of immortality to me as a child.  Now as a see them it's quite different and I feel sad.  People will die, and I have not been touched by that much except the standard grandparents.  It's frustrating because there is nothing I can do about it.
    I think it's the same way as well that I feel about my life and marriage.  I keep thinking of Peggy Lee's song "Is that all there is?"  I felt that having a child would bring back the life and vitality that I felt I was losing.  I never thought about continuing the blood line, why people have children, until it was no longer available to me.  I still think I want one, but it will not be part of me in that singular way.  And I know that way is the best.  All of the issues I have from genetics, will not plague this child.  I'm starting to be able to be happy for other women who are pregnant, which is nice. 
    I think about how beautiful and pretty I was in my early twenties, and yet I had such low self esteem.  I went with the first man who would have me.  And that is how I wound up, unmarried at 38.  After 5 years of therapy I finally realised that, I, get to decide who I will be with.  I started dating and met some great men, some not so good, and through all of that met my fantastic husband.  I can't help to still feel regret though that other people get to start this life much earlier on.  But then we wouldn't be who we are today, etc.
     So again I am grateful for all that I have and the love that is given to me.