Baby or No Baby

So I started trying to get pregnant in June 2010 at age 39.  I've never been pregnant before, and so my gyn. gave me a AMH test which showed a low egg reserve.  That lead to a crying spell, and then a resolve to start trying.  It also lead to my marriage as I wasn't in a hurry, but decided it would be best if I did get pregnant.  So the first few months were just regular timed intercourse with a Clearblue ovulation predictor.  I also did am temperature checks.  It appeared that I was ovulating.   August I started taking letrozole with each cyle.
After this all didn't work in October I decided to start seeing a reproductive endocrinologist.  We starting using IUI with each cycle.  In October I did get a positive pregnancy test and was really excited.  A few days later when I retested it was negative.  When I had the test at my MD office she said that I was pregnant and that it just didn't take.  If I hadn't been paying attention so closely I wouldn't have even noticed that my period was a couple of days late.

Finally in December I decided that I would have IVF.  I started this all out thinking I wouldn't go this far, but here I am.  So I thought I would be out of town during ovulation cycle in January and would start in February for IVF cycle.  I wound up being in town in January, but the regular intercourse didn't work.  So now it is February and I have started my medication for IVF.  I am on a Estrogen patch and taking a ganarelix injection x3 days.
One of the awful things that happened was I was to start a new assignment at work and due to my MD appointments needed they took me off of the assignment.  They also threatened to fire me.  Now they are making "allowances" for this month, but will re-evaluate in March.  I think if I need to do another IVF cycle they will fire me.  It's really upsetting thinking I have to make a choice between my job or trying to have a child. 
Some days I think it would be better without a child, it's what I'm used to.  But often I think about how happy it would be to have a family.  I know there are other options, but the next few I'm not thinking about until it gets to that point.  I wanted a baby with my previous boyfriend badly when I was early 30s.  Then I forgot about it.  But when I married my wonderful husband I really wanted to create something of love with him.
It's such a lesson on patience and desire for things you don't have.  Waiting for each monthly cycle and then waiting to find out if you are/aren't pregnant.  It's hard for me to think about anything else.  And other life decisions are made around this one as well.  I need to find a way to focus on other things while this is all going on.